This is a poem. I wrote it starting from the back of a journal forward one poem per day. Wyrd it makes sense forward, like life lived in reverse:
EGO mind can not heal itself—silly monkeys. Get out of your own way. Side step then slide along visions into feeling the deepest part of heart where dreams and memory reside. Let Spirit enter the field and follow the energy to the place where the greatest healing is needed.
Remember, you said yes.
I did! To what?🙄
Yes, I remember but the question was vague. Remind me of the context.
Too late! You already said ,yes.
I did...so whatever the question...I agree with your directions. I agree. Whatever it was you asked of me, the answer is yes.
Zonia? Will you?
Yes. See...It’s like that this life I’m living.
So, with my life in the greater hands of Universe, I go to the beach draw a spiral in the sand and tell Love it’s in charge
Aphrodite arrives in all her costumes and many faces. They wear sparkles, rainbow colors, bhindis, flowy dresses and harem pants. They smile, giggle, dance in the sand, sing, praise, and pray like I do at night when the guests have gone or are sleeping.
And though the outer ring is my home the inner circle is spiraling through all the places I’ve lived and people I know connecting stars in the sky and together we awaken to what we sometimes forget
the very places where we hide is what spirit will ask us to Dis-play.
As in life is a stage and dis de play of how we all come back together—find your monkey hands.
As in, Hi Monkey Friend, wanna hold hands?
My heart is open, so soft. Melt into it. I'll hold you. How long before you feel held? How long before you let go into and release everything you hold onto?
What if the very things you love and protect are keeping more love from entering? The walls-the barriors-the divisions-the us and them that stand between me and you...
I quiver at the vulnerable state of EXPOSED and left wide OPEN. Easy target for arrows. Unprotected.
Let the arrows fly. Arms wide. Send them into me, pierce my heart that I may bleed for the Earth Mother, Sacred Heart. Relinquish victim mentality and stories of why it is OUR RIGHT to cause suffering or else swim lost in the past when the PRESENT is the place for dreaming a new future. Life circles and flows in on the SEED OF REMEMBRANCE.
I remember when love was all we needed and Earth Mother provided beauty in abundance. A WELL SPRING OF DIVINE FLOW A RIVER RUNNING THROUGH IT. It? Your heart.
This is my home--CORAZON in the jungle SANCTUARY tucked away. Blow the conch in your humble heart, tend the fire, dance your temple dance to all the people of this land, honor and pray for ASSISTANCE, To take in and morph with love the heaven inside us sings choruses like angels to vibrate the field of connectivitiy KNOWING UNIVERSAL CONCEPTS flow freely.
Symbology-mythology- no, says Tony, LEGENDS. The key to the MAP OF CONSTELLATIONS star beings on spaceship traversing the GALAXY towards our beginning is where all things end. END CONFLICT on LOVE MAKE AGREEMENTS start today tolove people and places more than things.
Are you hiding in the jungle, Zonia?
No...I dont' know...maybe...a little.
Resting. Recovery. Recentering. TOTALLY ALIGNING with NATURE. My nature and the natural flow of things as they exist in space. Time is a loop closing in on itself.
Hiding? Escaping consuming technology and need. Trusting land and spirit that brought me here to heal the hearts I pray for UNIFICATION and PEACE a return to meaning. Out of the hold of infinite want is the palce of PURE CONTENTMENT.
LOVE REIGNS here in my heart is the HAND OF GOD at work.
How can I trust more? Serve the children in the truest way I can. Eye to eye. Heart to heart. We pray to God. God's little children bow heads to the ground and mother hears them and her helpers rise to meet us as the angels descend and interdimensional beings step forward.
Prayer to a HIGHER POWER. Elevate my thoughts to SPIRIT CONNECTION. Multi-layered. Multi-dimensional. Help me see the love you are that exists inside and everywhere may it blossom and flower.
Muchas Gracias. Bienvenidos. A grateful welcoming spirit as in OPEN TO RECIEVE the truth of people OPEN TO ACCEPT your BEINGNESS.
Your presence is LIFE ALTERING because you are not just here but EVERYWHERE all at once and you know where people are COMING FROM and WHERE THEY ARE GOING. It's not the same place. It's not linear but is is COLLECTIVE. Collect together the CONSCIOUSNESS of you and fill it with your life of understanding and compassion.
Quan Yin feminine recepticle touch lightly. Let them rise to meet you at the center watching then stop and turn all your stones over to the ultimate knower above all time and place from a HIGHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE.
The flower has many petals each with their own texture and fragrance attached to stem it roots down to Earth in the ground squirmies and crawlies loosen soil for nurtients to nourish and the seed reaches for light rain falls a collection of evaporated ocean drops whale song dolphin play. Rainbow lit clouds that bless us with WATER BIRD angel and currents taht dance back and forth. Bird wing to running jaguar mergin SOURCE connects us to ONE EARTH MOTHER BEATING STEADFAST.
Hit the drum at the center of fire is prayer and contract within to deepest lave flowing magma. Volcanic planet. Vapors. Waters. Life.
Mermaid dreams sunlight shafts from teh dpets we crave to land where seeds sprouts and oxygen breathes us alive. We see stars rotating planets RISE AND FALL constellations BIRTH Orion rides Pegasus towards horizon night sky. We dream with moons and tides. Push and pull until we have stretched contracted back to still center creation creator ORIGIINATION SINGULARITY pulse parts and particles collide coalesce and you are in the spaces between waiting listening watching.
Stop obsessing about other. In this moment there is only you, saves, crickets and darkness. Find the space between worlds words are not the way feeling is the only ally it drops you down to your feet. Walk. From here to there. Don’t look around to know if you have been observed or walk in a way to be noticed. It is merely TRANSPORTATION but enjoy the sultry journey.
Soon I'll be in other palces with other people and what path will I take?
Home is where you long for the sounds rhythm of life. You love all its parts like lover you laugh to take it all in and struggle to let go the psyche dwells on lives that aren't yours. Your life is the one you claim and only your heart knows words don't explain verses and love knows the way.
Diosita, Madre. Mia. Love. Expect to be loved. Find your power in CONTENTEDNESS as in enough. Be wise enough to see who is manipulating you for money and then got he way of Love. see with SPIRITUAL EYES. They see not the exterior but the actions of the embrace genuinine SOUL. Be held in love and love holds you clsoe enough to comfort you.
Deepest ease. Rest.
Diosita, teach me how to hold people softly so they can surrender tot he love that is here. Lo siento, sometimes fucked up shit happens but we are also blessed, gifted, spiral beyond memory to know the greatest presence is the gift of our true selves as in heart to heart, it is nice to know you.
Diosita, how can I have more love for the yogini festival goddesses whose dopplegangers intimidated my little girl soft spirit who ran to the jungle for peace and anonimity? Triggered. I do love them and adore their beautiful hearts.
Soften. Relax. It's not them. It's me. Well--maybe both. Two ends of circles closing in. Trust more. Hold softer. They will allow themselves to be held.
Letting go into the love that is surrounding us. Dissolving barriors. Question being: Did I not say I wish to be a part of? Only if I can still retain my soft center. Softly enjoying youth beauty and the feminine to share gifts without fear.
Do you as a Goddess still have moments of insecurity? I know so many that do. Dolli says in those moments she closes her eyes and focuses on her center. There she finds the love for what she does and she SINGS because she loves it. So loving to her soul self to not withhold her gift in any way not from herself or others. The gift is you. It is your life. If you follow it, it leads to blessings.
The road is paved in flowers bhindis and color. Wrap yourself in beauty.
Get soft. Soft enough for your heart to LISTEN TO THE EARTH. Open hearted. Shining. Encompass that which surroudn you like a globe of sky water land swirling atmosphere floating in space. Small. So small is our solar planet rotating edge of galaxy cherished in the Universe. What do we have to prove to selves or others? The system of BIODIVERSITY we lean into and are supported by the ancestors now dust.
Step forward now, softly, softer still, softer than your've ever been. ALLOW heart in hands and bend int he ocean breeze sway to the quiet heart family. Sisters. Brothers. All together under heavens on Earth. Listen with your heart and let your head go that it may be easy and fall into PEACE.
Si accepto. Si accepto. Si accepto. Accepto mi familia. Accepto mis amigos. Accepto mi Cora-Zonia-cita, mi mente, vida, deciones. Accepto. Accepto todo.
Zonia, do you accept your path and place? Si, accepto because it is full of heart and barefeet.
Its effortless when you factor in your COMFORT in skin not to say there aren't days when self is conscious and soul wants to hoola on the beach but little girl tucks her head, no me mieras.
I hear the trap and often times my inner mother strokes my hair, Love, do it because it makes you happy get IMMERSED in the experience and if people start watching PERFORM MIRACLES attention focused on core group praying for the voice of God to speak.
Letting go of vanity and beauty which are the pursuits of youth for the study of surrender and peace with cycles of time. To be at ease in roles of gender, age, practice whatever shape or form you be in whatever devotion you have filled your heart with, people will in time see that as your greatest quality.
Presence with self. Peace with life. Acceptance of body. KIND where there is no competition there is no winning, there is only you as you are dling not as performance or costume but as self loving what self does. Your life becomes an extention of these pathways of experiences. Times meandering ways.
Full circle. Not travelling. Visiting. Willing to be seen. Not willing to be someone other than this me at ease in private unobserved moments self witnessing self and what it loves. In agreement with SOURCE ENGERY depends on who you view as the Source of Life beyong SELF as Soul is Soul of World but little me connects down Mother Earth loves her children of which I am one.
In a world of SELF CENTERED people what impels us to action is clearly visible and happy peaceful PARALLEL PLAY is possible compelled form an inner impulse towards sea, contemplation, movment and ALLOWING SELF TO CENTER awareness on this impuls trains God guided Soul directed. When we describe SELF here let it be COLLECTIVE SELF EXPRESSING. All perfectly don. Love you's. "I" can only do one thing at a time but "WE" accomplish so much more. All super lovable. I love my "selves"
Sunrise bursting rays over palm tree victorious breath run beach to ocean little pink fluffy coulds 360 degrees of beautiful from ocean floating back morning perfect no witness except my soul who birthed me.
Thank you, Mother. How can I be perfectly me and oh so in love with the life we breathe alive? Stay in heart and give rise to dreams bird song running runs into oceans and soft woman meditate on life's beginning which is every day. Time is a gift of knowing love is the water falling from the sky.
You can't compete with anyone over self-creation, expression, and expansion.
How do you know who will be your best lover?
Well, it will be the person who lvoes you best, sees you clearly, puts you at ease with you. You at ease is open. You open is expressive. You expressive is expansive. You expanding is creating you which is orgasm. SELF CREATING SELF CIRCULAR ENEGERY from mulhadhara to crown ECSTASY all chakras open, not 7, infinitely. Don't get caught in a aclosed system trying to recreate experience. EXPERIENCE something new. Every time. Every person. Every you and you is a state of discovery. Wonder.
Behold your senses. IMPRINT experience of smell, touch, taste fully take int eh energy of shared. Dissolved boundaries skin touch skin breathe pores and join electromagnetic resonance. Pulse together. Along front. Back to front. Extention of each other. Dance energy.Birth the Universe inside you. Love is Lover and touches you everywhere especially the heart.
How can we make it easier? How can we allow love to enter effortlessly? How can we surrender to bliss? How can we feel held? Safe? To act on natural impulse express heart turth and love this cellular memories of body feeling elements and passing mooncycles? What is at the center? the fixed compass set in the direction of travel always inside.
Where were you born? In a lodge made of Earthen Clay on indegenous lands with my family, I travel through the firepit as thunderbird and arise as water bird in Mexican cove green like jade with visions of sunset to sunrise and the moon, its path of sun is a cross.
I've been sitting silence seeking nothing. Not words or outer concepts. Just listening. Enjoying the peace of mind not narrating. Creator God orchstrating my life calling my spirit to places and feelings inside of myself attentive connections without apology changing eas in sanctuary housing heart. Touch spirit in the flesh according to inclination. Feel loved beyond measure for being and experience infinite love.
Prayer of for the loved ones who pass under hand let go of rejection, release shame connect in compassion and pray dream manifestation and always sit silence after asking, that is to ask, only to ask, always to ask.
In the unknown beyond our mind and thinking lives MAGIC. IT EXISTS NOT IN ANSWERS but in QUESTIONS and Mexico, it heals the heart.