This is a reading of the "Hall of Mirrors" a mandala done for Wanderlust for ceremony entitled "Heart Space." Directions for doing your own mandala are located under the CURRICULUM HEADING. I am also available to teach small group classes. If you are interested please, CONTACT ME.
The reading of all mandalas begins in the center and is the seed you were birthed to conscious on the planet and does not change.
At the center of this mandala is the Mother Earth. It is the blue pearl in the center of a meditating head and also in the space of the pineal gland, or third eye center. This is starting with a chant that is written around the mouth, "Spirit of the sun, warm light healing me. Spirit of the sea, set my soul free."
This particular mandala is beginning in answer to the question: "How do I move in the world? How do I trust more?" In other words, how can I trust my movements more by understanding how they take place.
What the very center of the mandala is showing is a prayerful attitude and deep self inquiry. The aqua figure located in what is normally the black quadrant of the medicine wheel, which is deep introspection manifesting in the physical realm or meditating on what has actually happened. The prayerful figure is centered on the Earth, which also siting sits in the center of a steady flame that is the symbol of our relationship with the Creator God and there is a calling in of the sacred elements. This is me poised in prayer at the location for the ceremony yet to happen asking for permission and asking if I am allowed to hold space for the elements and requesting divine presence be with us.
Every time I do a ceremony I question myself and my "right" to hold space. As in, is it all right? Am I in right relation to spirit, my heart, the people? I ask to be examined and for my heart to be purified so my intentions can be clearly for the benefit of others in attendance.
Behind the aqua praying figure is a replica of my mother's psychedelic care bear. When I asked her what the bear represented, she said she didn't know she was just laughing. So, that painting is standing in for laughter medicine. The figure looking at the painting is seeing the cuteness of this creation and behind that is a figure in red speaking into the left ear of the meditating head. That figure in red is my literal mother and also a symbol of the divine mother. It is my experience of the female through my lineage which is healthy, happy, funny, artists and the best storytellers ever. Blood line Basque, nauhtl, Arabic. It's not about the ancestry it's about my relationship to my family, our stories, and my knowledge of their names so they can awaken within me.
So there are multiple layers telling the story of how I have moved in the world in the past so I can have confidence and trust the way I move in the world in the future. The purple figure connected to her mother and in healthy relation is then looking into her connection with spirit. On the back of the purple figure is a heart with an eye looking into the etheric heart its not only the process of self-inquiry but also the mother looking back in on me and telling me what she sees based on my choices and life experiences.
What unfolds is not only a visual representation of the mother, but also the trees. As I am calling in the sacred elements, I hear the wood element responding and I see the tree people are happy to share their stories with me. As the next figures began to be drawn, I literary felt the attention of wood element or, in this case, the pine trees immediately around me, I was drawing this in the spot for sacred ceremony performed for Wanderlust "Heart Space," I felt those trees awaken to their consciousness of me. I felt them connect with each other so that there was a collective Tahoe forest consciousness. I became aware of their knowing of me and was reminded I have been in this forest since I was 11.
On the second layer as the medicine wheel expands, you see that Lake Tahoe has drawn itself and inside the lake are seeds of consciousness and little stories that my life experiences have planted in the water.
Going back into the center of the fire and following the orange from the carebear up into the north there is an observer mind that is portrayed by a childhood friend who stands in witness of the events leading up to 2017. Upper portion north, how did I come to run ceremony and pour water for lodge? Inside the lodge, is the fire burning inside the center of the head, transcending all time and space, of a mermaid, who is a symbol of a deep connection to waters of emotion, deep empathy for other beings in their struggles and, yet, able to live in joy and innocence. Following that orange, it leads to a particular lodge, the Cedar Lodge, is what I pour. It's the lodge of right relations, in other words, there is enough cedar in this world to heal all relationships between people and eradicate our victim mentality.
That specific lodge was poured at a partner's of mine in Mokolumne Hill so this layer is third layer medicine wheel spiraling out is pulling in stories from the Sierra foothills as well, and there is a fire pictured there that destroyed that land and my connection to those people as that was happening was profound. ..but how I became that person, that water pourer if you go back to the center of the fire there is a picture of the Love Lodge poured by my sister Janet Scott who was the first elder teacher to pass me the water during ceremony. I carry on that tradition in her honor and also experiences, teachers and trainings that unfold to the right, Eastern quadrant of spiritual challenges and tribulations.
The mermaid is connected there to the South Tahoe High School, located in the South Shore of Lake Tahoe and that story commences the year of my Saturn Return. Surrounding that school is the Angora fire, the year of my purification. It was the year my brain tumor returned, the year I got into a snowboarding accident fracturing my spine, displacing my pelvis and jamming my occipital ridge. This accident also commences my use of yoga in order to heal my spine from the base all the way to my crown. It is also the year of my ex-communication from the Jehovah's Witness organization, loss of a lifetime of friendships, and the loss of spiritual community for exploration of my sexuality. I was able to use meditation and yoga to transcend my pain from perceived separation and isolation, and yoga, as in connection, continuing to feel my connection to spirit and trust that I was still a child of God.
It is also the place of my blossoming passions, my first sexual experience and as I felt that steady flame present in me, when I met my yoga teacher Jason Milne and my Apache Hawaiian Mentor April Whitecloud who began my vision questing. So trials and tribulations right side begin to bleed over into my relationship with males, all of whom were my greatest teachers and guides towards the woman I am today, especially pictured in embrace far right, my relationship with my father.
My father who is super sweet and kind but had to transcend his own life situations of Vietnam, single mother 9 siblings (three who died young), an alcoholic absent gambling father (my grandpa), and the perceived poverty of growing up indigenous in modern days society. He appeared to be impoverished but was filled with riches.
He is a catalyst for me being able to tap into, lower right hand corner, South East trials and tribulations that lead to you inheriting your innocence by connecting with the celestial or soul essence and remembering that we are so much more than our human experience, more stately chambers, it is for us to spiritually evolve. Also in the lower right hand corner is my male lineage, Lucero (also my grandmother female lineage), colors are orange, yellow and tourqoise denoting my mental dispositions and the healing of my victim mentality. Lucero star Dineh Southwest Cathedral Rock pictured which is one of the places where I ran the grandfather drum for Hopi Nation after meeting Grandfather Martin.
Attached to that Dineh figure is a purple lotus, ascension, enlightenment and rebirth, inside is the retention of my inner child, my relationship with mother and spirit, the zen walk taking a day at a time in order to heal victim mentality, the understanding of how to harness and direct sexual energy, and the ability to connect to the center of the fire for the healing of all relations (peyote chief) which gives way to a figure dancing who is connected to a healing source, right leg connected to the akashic records which is connected to a giraffe, which is the symbol of being able to look above circumstances and be a spiritual guide balanced on a figure in three legged dog bridging a gap in the psyche through stories but also the projection of the giraffe who is showing a genetic chain leading me to stand in front of a painting of a raven and a song that is talking about the ability to merge with magic and walk between two worlds.
The two worlds to me is the ability to find the blue pearl at the center figure being able to find the place between the right and left brain hemispheres, no longer telling the story of our life from our human vantage point but from a vantage point that is beyond the earth and that is connected to the figure under the chin of the meditating figure in orange, soul freedom.
If you continue to follow the orange up and over to the left you will see my inner spirit, the connection to my mothering self, my mother's laughter and artistic spirit, the Earth as it is Nature and also my body is the spiritual breakthrough that helped me to overcome the trials of my earlier life. In bike rides, the Kings Beach Wellness Center and another picture of that Lucero Dineh spirit in the upper North West looking with the spirit of the pine, which is courage, and above that a figure leaping with heart. So with courage of heart looking at the projection of life as it is being shown to me as a learning experience that created in me the ability to be able to hold space, back to north, above, for the ancestors, star nation and to have extended my understanding of the world based on, guiding question, how I moved in the world and learned how to trust myself which lead to, back to north, a Hawaiian figure. Hawaiian figure representing the cultivated prayerful and meditative movement that lead to my Shamanic burial and my ultimate awakening which is the full circle of that South Tahoe beginning.
Going back to the center and then left, the children in the tree is probably a collective children of Lake Tahoe, including the kids at King Beach Boys and Girls Club, Squaw Valley Academy, and South Tahoe High School, who are standing witness for me as I am approaching the fire and asking permission to run ceremony. The figure in red looks like my very own little momacita. She is at the left ear of my meditating head. To the left of the tree is an interesting story involving one of my best friends and a collegiate athlete, Paula, who is running me up Granite Chief. What I remember about the story is that she looked like she was having the time of her life, pony tail bouncing everywhere, while I was in great physical pain. At one time I finally asked, "Are you in pain?" to which she cheerfully replied, "Yes!" That is the culmination for me of healing victim mentality inside of ourselves, is that it is possible to in a great deal of pain and suffering but still retain your joy in what you are doing.
Right above that is a conch shell white and yellow which are the colors of spiritual warriors and those who are selling truth to others, in the case of the shell, sacred waters of the soul with turtle patience and Muslim moon poetry and Rumi. So going into the poetic soul of the Universe, the feminine spirit of truth that transcends through depth of emotion and a sacred container of water that I choose, figure dancing arms outstretched, on the shell to create more life in me.
The dancing reminds me of Brazilian dance called the Oraixas which teaches that we are allowing ourselves to be danced by the sacred elements, connecting to the dock where I used to do yoga to the rising of the sun which leads to the unknown flower orange which is the portrayal of healing relationship with myself, the Creator, the Earth and others and following the orange all the way back to the center and dropping down the fire to the Southern quadrant, which represent me in the present moment of the drawing, in this case, mountain guide for Wanderlust "Heart Space" ceremony. To the left is what I want to be able to do for others at this ceremony which is to
Tell a happy love story. That we are all one with the Beloved and that the Beloved does love us we are Beloved and that no matter what we are going through in life if we can view it as an experience that will shapes who we are and have an attitude of appreciation for how we are growing, Nautilus shell, the waters of emotion that spiral out from us can actually change everyone that they touch.
So if we go back to the center of the fire to the one that is praying to the fire and the one that is observing there is alot of attention on the left foot which is the right to step forward pink lotus Buddha essence, true natured self and that Buddha essence is coming out of the right ear of a figure that is walking its walk and "talking story" The back right foot is connected to another aqua figure, which now shows us that it isn't a purple lotus but a butterfly, at the time I was living in Tahoe I was really into the story of the imaginal cells of a butterfly which is to say whether the butterfly wanted to change or not it would change.
At some point, even if we resist our own growing and letting go, I let go of so many lives around the lake, high school teacher, tutor, center director, yoga studio manager, yoga teacher, healer, writer, editor, non-profit, coffee shop, food prep, the gym and every time spirit called me I was required to leave so when I look at the butterfly I also see the connection to a kite which reminds me of the partner from the north quadrant sweat lodge. He was an Aries and up until that period of time I had very little sense of my own self and now I understand that in the knowing of my own self I can be a healing source to others by reflecting the best in them and their life experience. I understand now that being able to receive the memory of who we are through the eyes of love is one of the most important gifts we can give to others.
REtell the story of our lives that makes us feel grateful for everything that has happened regardless of how it felt at the time. One of my final questions for the mandala is
How do we brige the gap in our psyche between our questions and knowing the answer.
If you go back to the center there is only one way. Self-inquiry. Absolute honesty about who we know we are. Absolute honesty for the stories that we tell. There is no way around living a life in accordance with what our soul is directing us to do and that is the only way we can take these hall of memories or ceremonial life reviews and either make adjustments or give thanks.
Some frames I haven't experienced yet but appear to me as memories. Other frames are talked about in my Bio.
Lower frame with me and a cross which reminds me of my grandmother who took her private indigenous mother worship into their bathrooms with her rosaries and prayed with such intensity that when my dad stepped on a landmine in Vietnam and cried mother she heard him. So this deep connection transcends physical limitation and the cart in front of the frame, especially the purple of the drawing, my connection to spirit and my spiritual life is observed and witnessed. I feel a huge sense of responsibility but also it is an honor and a blessing to be able to access my own life, my own family, my own memory and use my connections to help others make deep connections themselves.
If you have any specific interest in any one frame or have done a mandala (Directions available under the CURRICULUM HEADING) and desire a reading CONTACT ME. If you would like me to teach a class on mandala metaphors and their meaning let me know, it's one of my favorite things to do.
Healer, Spiritual Advisor, Yogini, Mentor