It's been two years since my last post. The question to writing is always where to begin and where it will end. I feel that way today in my soul, beginnings and endings have a now and the waiting for it to be the right time is killing us all.
The right time? For?
To start over. To just give ourselves and everyone a new start. To remember at night we enter the imaginal, dreams and visions filter to us new information in relation to our contemplations and experiences. When we awaken, however, do we awaken? Allow the new to arise in and through us. Be renewed.
As of late, working with the potent human beings in contact with the imaginal, soul worlds and their ancestry, we hold the space for the generations to pass. To let them move from seed human form into their true celestial origins, we must also free them of the nodal, knot, or trauma to which we are associated. Let them fly free to the next realm, prepare a place for us when we go. To a place where this world we shall understand in its complexities, turmoil, and beauty a mosaic of human destiny to grand for any human to hold. To difficult for us to process that loss was a steep price for experiential evolution, experience that will remain the beacon of why we must do it differently.
As of late, I've been asking continuously, how can we do this better, this disagreement and learning? How can we slow walk the older generations with peace, comfort and kindness through the threshold? If they are able.
As of late, I've come to accept this new world may be too foreign and they may not be able to let go of the worlds they have had a share in creating more wealth, abundance of chachqis and consumerism than they could have ever imagined. At least this is true of most of my baby boomer relatives. Comfort, convenience and so many addictions to plastic ready made items that freed the women from endless duties of cleaning and cooking so they could self-develop and still work, raise children. Children who have the freedom through these very things to become, do, and, in my case, explore the world.
Our spoiled generation who knows nothing of walking great distances out of necessity, using our own strength to create in the void something we don't quite know how to do, in languages we didn't grow up learning, along pathways and structures to thoughts and new ideas. Complexity.
My grandmother was raised in missions. To her the Spaniards and settlers gave her a new life and faith to which she and many of my family clung. A life line of prayer that connects them to my grandmother and to faith. The rituals, the prayer, the power to raise seven children to grandchildren and great grandchildren until after her passing her daughters and sons are now the grandparents and great grandparents.
So many prayers. The over structure and colony gave my family educations, jobs, cars, trucks, and more beauty than the previous generations could have conceived. To this, my parental generation is proud and resting in their retirement. To this I felt deep loss and separation through church from nature. In my 20's I returned to it. In my 30's I rebelled against it. Not understanding by experience the poverty of language and money, I felt accutely the poverty of lost culture. All my cultures.
My one-hundred percent Navajo-Dine friend calls us. Those natives who are born from the earth who are Dine first people and a....little bit of spaniard, German, European, multiple tribes...so may that our native blood just says yes and to the colony I know how to walk in multiple worlds.
Mulitplicity of existence. Intersectionality. In high school I was voted Most Versatile for my ability to weave and bob through social groups and say yes to the questions can you? Journalism, Athleticism, Honor Role, Debate, Spirit Squad. A Mex-I-Can from El Paso, Texas borderland to three regions and the entire east to west migration.
My people are all people. My strands of thought complex and interdimensional. From Colorado prairie field up brings to Hawaiian wanderings and Mau rock aunty Kelly Aloha breath stories, I have passed tumors from my nose in snake burials, worn 70's fur jackets, barefoot runnings, imitated fashion magazines, lived the swing salsa life of the San Francisco Bay Area, retreated to the jungle before cell phones and wifi could reach the spa, and looked at sketches of the Sistine Chapel in London. I have run down the Alps and climbed Mount Shasta, explored my innermost regions and the places to which my feet have chosen to walk. To the indigenous of the Southwest, to the Sierras of Mexico and back to the European roots we all come from this earth.
The only question is are we brave enough to find all the places we keep alive in and around us. Able to let go not o the learnings and strength gathered but of the stories that bind us to past. To evolve we must look to future. Who will I be tomorrow and in how many ways am I the same as every human I am blessed to meet, every breath I take I am in unity with air, every step I feel the earth, every tear laughter and joy I move waters of energy and feeling heart knowing through my being-ness and I wonder yet again,
How can we do this better? This shifting phase of explosive wars within our own hearts the Ancient Mother and Father ask us to remember, once we all came from the same Source. Once we were all Beloved Ones but where love was lacking there is now darkness. Can we fill that darkness with compassion and again remember ourselves whole? I am just delusions, hopeful, and full of faith enough to believe that it is possible.
In my late 40's, 48, nearing 50. I understand. As we age we get soul tired. Catalysts for change we become containers of understanding. Each generation will have its victory, make its mark, change the world. In the places where our possibilities intersect, where we refrain from name calling and blanket social media terms we believe apply and size up the other instantly, where older generations come to understand plurality and singular can coexists in one person, can we, in the spaces between, pause step long enough for the seed of realization and new relationships to birth? Can we step back into our empathic self to feel soul rise. To look for what is right. To be grateful for the changes despite the losses and trust future generation will give life to it again. And this generation will pass. That this change we wait for will also carry the price of our grandparents, aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers, passing until we are the grandparents of the future.
Reborn. The Cosmological Grandmother and the Star seed are one being. All tribes are needed. Among those thriving in the over structure are also those devoted to spirit and the holy evolution of all beings. Thank them. For those who have been waiting and caretaking these precious things because it wasn't safe, because it wasn't time, because we didn't know how to stand in the places prepared for us, the time is here. But not for you to step back, for us all to step forward into soul beings, together