journey to self

The journey from the ancestors back to the self is a winding road looping through the spiral staircase of our genetic codes.  To unleash and remember where this body came from and its experiences as a total whole now manifested as the being sent forward from original seed  is to send roots down deep into the center of Earth and access memories held  in store for the time when we would need it most.

But we are not only body...we are spirit and not bound by lineage, stories or time.  To journey to the truth of that self we must diverge from the set course of those who would never have traveled the many roads and  belief systems to the soul seed that remembers we are far more than our Earthly attachments.  We are far more than our ancestors, religions, and our parents' visions for our life.  We are part of a Universal whole that is bound to all beings seen and unseen, in this galaxy and far beyond our knowing.  

Connection is our primary purpose in being born.  Yoga's union in action beyond the mat.

The connection with the original indigenous seeds who would remember how to live in harmony with the planet and hold space for all the beings planet wide and in the mist of generational separation.  This requires a contraction into the past and a remembrance of why and how the ancestors submitted to this multi-generational life cycle of evolution and creation.

The connection with the star nation is the coming of full circle back to our selves.  It is the original blueprint manifesting  in order for us to evolve from animal to soul.  Star nation remembers itself as a human form and the many experiences that cause suffering, they however know that in the end the way we have expanded and added to Universal Consciousness is the most important journey of all.

The circle and cycle as it was originally implanted by Source.

Man made is linear...nature is circular.  

Though we may not truly understand the concept of time and the omnipotence of a creative force that can hold together the thread of past present and future under the umbrella of NOWness, we can begin to grasp time, not as one who is looking at the scales of a snake through a hole in the fence, but one who is looking at time from a wider perspective and seeing the snake that has brought us all here as eating its own tail.

When star nation and earth tribe unite, we have a prismatic color spectrum that unites all people, beliefs, and systems into a rainbow of possibilities.  We can choose to see that moment when the prism strikes and alignment is possible as the VOID but truly it is the place of conception where everything is born.  It is the still breath when sperm meets egg...it is the moment when the cells begin to divide into the orginal 8 cells of humanity.

8 cells.  8 chakra.  A complete whole human being in harmony with spirit.

Are we in harmony with spirit?  The only way to know is if we are in harmony with love for all beings, not just ourselves.  This is the tenet of right relations.  That we begin to think not only of our own freedom, but of the generations to come.  That we are willing to be uncomfortable and release ourselves from attachments of all sorts in order to allow places, people and events to come into alignment with Universal order.  

In the energy system of the chakras, the heart is the uniting force that guides us to understand where we came from so we don't make the same mistakes again and also so we can preserve the very things people of the past were willing to die for and manifest through course of action and will.

That I do speak often of my ancestors and their stories, I also have guiding me my unborn children.  I know not if they will ever manifest on the physical plane, but I see them in dreams playing in a field under a giant oak tree.  

This week as I visited the gravesites of my ancestors, I joined a force greater than myself that is love and Earth combined in wisdom with my life experience as a travelling medicine person.  I have gone against many spiritual beliefs of both my parents, been willing to face my fears and let go of things I held true and valued, I have made medicine teas and sat in sacred circle and I remember two tenets that are not to be broken in ceremony.

Never let anyone get between you and the fire.  Never let anyone get between you and the medicine.  

They are two separate tenets.

One is the relationship with the fire, God, eternity, your soul...when we say not to let anything get in between you and the fire, it means not even yourself.  Get out of the way and let the fire do its work on you.  At every part of the ceremony there is something else happening.  As we pass through the time of darkness, when we are away from the sun, that is when we are shown the things of our heart that are making ourselves and connections, and we are all connected, sick.  IF we are to rid ourselves of the disease of the HUMAN collective mind, we must look at the places in our lives where we must right actions and take responsibility for the words, thoughts, prayers, and ideas that cause imbalance in a world of excess and consumerism, however love driven and honestly innocent the intentions were.  Sometimes...we are wrong.  Do we trust the inextinguishable Source of all things and allow that being to move us in the direction we must travel to heal, not only ourselves but the collective connection to Source as One Medicine Wheel for all peoples, not just the ones in the tipi, and certainly not just for the stone we are.

The other is you and your personal medicine of your heart.  It is expansive and free.  It speaks truth, sings it, lives it, prays it and moves us in the direction of our dreams.  It cures dis-ease born of sadness, shame, fear, and isolation.  It opens us to the possibility of joy, courage, celebration and connection.  It views us as the source of either great happiness or sadness.  It teaches us how to open and where. As the sun begins its route back to morning, we are purified by the fire, we are then born-again as divine beings who can trust our hearts to be good and know that if we get off track we are willing to change. Humility mixed with supreme confidence in our heart's guidance system.

The roots of a tree...in relation to the Sun.  Father Sky illumination and shining a light on the dark places of ourselves where we have forgotten to look.  Mother Earth, blessings and perfectibility of bliss.

Standing in two worlds...star nation and earth seed.  Living in two consciousnesses, Father Sky and Mother Earth.  Brought together in one little being who is both spirit and ancestor, you. 

To be of this current generation, we are flowing along on an ocean of consciousness that requires we root and ground down, but it also demands that we learn how to fly free.

It is for us then to honor the teachings of both worlds.  The world of technology harnessing not dominating the codes of nature.  It is the empowerment and celebratory essence of rainbow tribe festival people rooted with the experience and wisdom of tribal heart cords.

I am grateful that I did not grow up in the land of my ancestors, because my ways have flourished to encompass and understand the mountain people of India and the Islamic on their knees, as well as the Christians on pilgrimages in front of crosses, and the Hawaiians with their stones.  I have seen God in every place and detail of all peoples.  

I honor the ways of others as well as the way of my tribe.  Passed down in stories, I know my great great great grandmother Maggie who massaged and realigned bones is with me in sessions the same way I know my heart cords have the power to tell me  when to come home because I can hear the heart prayer of my parents needing help while care-taking for my 99 year old grandfather.  Living on the land in Maui and loving the bliss of my life, it is a cord stronger than my own experience.  It is the same cord that stood me to attention to be at the bedside of my dear cousin as she miscarried at 3 months so I could hold her son Christian in my hands until he grew still.  All of this without even a phone call.

These are the defining moments of my life, every bit as much as the tapestry of the travels I have taken on my own.  To be sure I will never forget the hillside in Ulapalakua where I watched the sun set for months, nor will I forget the sound of birds chirping at my window while I worked and lived in the jungle of Huelo.

It is in my blood to honor my relations, but it is also a part of my youth and joy to dance 5 rhythms in Nevada City with my friend Mike who wears a big tye-dye shirt and for me to bathe naked in the hot springs on Big Sur Coast.

I know who I am from the roots of my tree to every branch and leaf.  I know who I must become, like the hawk that soars through the sky.

And though I force myself to look in the face of the beliefs of others to know where it is they are learning love, I can not deny the essence of myself that has brought me home, or the one that will lead me to the land where I see flowers.

There will be many times in my life that will draw me home to El Paso where I learn to let go of my youth, but there are so many more that will draw me forward to live life to the fullest now and forever young.

May we all honor the medicine within, make peace with those who have disconnected us from it, and give reverence to the medicine without...reaching for the stars and beyond the limitations of the potential we have been gifted.

A living scale of balance, aware enough to know when we need more for ourselves and when we need more for others.  It is the balance between red tantra and white.  It is the love that binds it all together at the center...where our own essence lives...and only we can ever know that.