Go back to the beginning.
Wheres the beginning? Where you began. Began what? Before the circle stories and the glitches. Let go to a time before they were. Observe wide eyed. Then say nothing. Go to lodge. Say nothing. Go to yoga. Say nothing. Sit in circle. Share nothing. Cut your hair. Take your jewelry off. Wear plain clothes. Zonia, why did you cut your hair? The deep answer to a deep question, I thought native people only cut their hair when someone dies. I did. The Mexico answer. Zonia! We love your new look. Shake my head laugh smile. Start over again. Prefer the Mexico answer. Go to lodge. Zonia, sing and speak my friend says, if you keep your wisdom inside it will rot. Go to lodge. Sing. Be led. Celebrate but say little. Watch. The young who once sat are teaching now. In the years of my traveling they are now family with farm and new baby. A new baby in the family is coming. My brother does the grandpa dance. Start over with her. Everything is new. Graduate phases in life. Move on. Real friends grow with you and no matter your costume, occupation or calling you will always be the same. Sit Shabot. Love family. Put them first. Was I very serious when I met you? Yes, but you were always you. Go to Esalen. Say everything. Make peace have self-compassion. Go to lodge, say nothing except to ask for silence to hear the steam, the ocean, the river flowing where thermal waters meet. Dance. Paint. Run in the rain.Feel happy inside. The real lodge is earth. The elements are with us no matter the practice. They live inside our bodies and next to us. Outgrow the container. Go to El Paso. Dance. Sing. Embrace. Laugh. Go to Mexico. Dance. Sing. Laugh. Work much less. Love the community. Spend time with friends. Change season. In between imagine the next yes moment that will define a thriving beginning filled with love and happiness. Wear costumes for fun. Dance at midnight alone in the dark of the temple hall. Teach yoga. Heal my spine. Remember home, before traveling in the years of teaching. Remember community. Go back to the beginning. Wherever that is. Birth it inside silently but live fully.
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