Moved to call. Called to answer.
1 am...the phone rings...Random, "accidental" call that lifts me from deep sleep into the present where I see a holographic image of Yogananda floating in the air. I swim through it to the phone, see who it is and wonder what it could be. In this sleepy head moment I wonder if I should answer it because Yogananda is there floating in my mind's eye. The image dissipates and I return to my bed. No sooner does my head hit the pillow than another call comes in...1:02 am...another call from someone who hasn't called in a long time sitting under the stars in Tahoe contemplating life paths and yoga teacher training courses. We get off the phone.
I return to my bedside to kneel on my mat. Obviously I am supposed to be awake.
I hear the words "Eternal Truth," just as an image of a golden embryo with a golden cord floating in pink embryonic fluid appears to me. I fall into it and the feeling of absolute nurturing, safety, release, weightlessness. In this realm there is no thought, just an all pervasive equanimity and bliss beyond peace.
I see the sternum bone, one of the first to form in utero, containing stem cells as marrow for every part of the body. They are the original 8 cells of mitosis and conception. Our blueprint, first cells to divide, containing all information for all major organs and, therefore, all energy centers. Able to communicate with all levels of our being from the Divine Crown to the Primal Pelvis through the language of love.
I continue to experience utero as unconditional love, screened off in the belly and fully fed. Embryonic. Fluid.
Then birth, the first breath, the leap of heart and consciousness as I enter the world of light and noise. I take in my breath of life and cry. There is both personal loss and shared joy. I experience love from being held, touched, and kissed.
I feel the duality of these two arise in me as I feel in this experience the spiritual symbology of our eternal desire for connection, oneness and the return to our eternal origins. This is the journey we will inevitably attain after passing through life lessons and practices to reunite us with the Source of life and Spirit.
The first birth, eclipsed only by awakening and re-birthing after years of grasping, a constant quiet primal yelp until we are finally satiated and return to our natural inheritance of spiritual love and nurturing. This is our Soul Purpose to breathe prayer and take in Source unity as the Great Spirit, the Holy Spirit, moving us, breathing consciousness, birthing our divine state of love in all circumstances forgiven, blessed and utterly in love with the Divine in all things.
My eyes open at daybreak. I reach for Yogananda's "Eternal Quest." He teaches me about the medulla oblongata, the gate of God. He describes it as the gate through which God enters our bodies. I open my anatomy books and discover it sits upon the spinal cord and is the continuation of the spinal cord into the skull and contains the nerves for our lungs and heart.
The Magical Portal...the one that activates and communicates to the rest of our body that it is time for our hearts to beat and our lungs to breathe, in essence for us to live. "God living in us."
I arrive at chapter 2 line 50 of the Bhagavad Gita, it discusses "uniting your heart with God." It talks about us all being endowed with spiritual intelligence. That intelligence is given us to guide us on our journey, of moving from human duality in this life through diligence and submitting our individual consciousness with Ultimate Consciousness in everything we do.
This is the elevated consciousness that ends our karmic, samsaric cycle of give and take, yin and yang, male and female, full and empty. The moving from human love's dual nature towards the transcending soul satisfied God connected state of evenness or union or yoga with the Divine. A heart, as the Gita reads in verse 48, that is "fixed on the Divine," immoveable, in the still center, at the seat of the soul, seeing every act as a devotion, unattached to the outcomes. Serving for love's sake and that is all. Content because you are moved and, that in and of itself, is evidence of Divine Presence in your life.
It brings me back to the sternum at chest center housing both the lungs and our physical heart. I see a complete whole being in total harmony stands at the center, the thymus tucked behind, governed by Libra and the scales, balance and harmonious relationships.
It brings to my mind the etheric heart where our secret intentions are read, da'at hiding within the tree of life, connected to Chakmah and Binah (knowledge and wisdom) with a pure energy channel to Keter (crown), our soul heart blessed, pure, filled with our meditations and the channel for our prayers.
So then the ultimate act of love is that we are living souls. The ultimate act of love on our part is to beautify this soul that we are and in which we are housed. To become victorious through experiencing the great thrill of living by never forgetting, though we be free to love and do as we wish, the soul that is our breath, heart, consciousness is not ours, but borrowed.
Our ultimate destiny it is to unite with the Divine light, enlightened, as love. A gift back to the Creator, a heart that shines as brilliantly as gold.
Of this moment of unification, Rumi says:
"If destiny comes to help you,
Love will come to meet you.
A life without love isn't a life..."
Of the infusion of meaning in life through Divine Love that takes one beyond suffocating bitterness into the wonder of everlasting joy, Rumi says "A rain of gold will pour from heaven" and, to the humble hearted and those who have transformed themselves like the "rose into rosewater," and we will all be humbled and transform, Divine Love is your eternal destiny and the ultimate Truth.